Best viewed in landscape mode while using mobile.
I am not new to writing poetry. I actually began writing religious poetry when I was 6 and later started writing most of my poetry/lyrics in high school often about life and death. I also stumbled upon The Divine Comedy in high school and since have always admired the piece with such admiration. This is a translation and rewriting of the first Canto of Inferno.
The most popular translation is Longfellow’s and can be found here for reference.
Principles of this translation/rewriting:
1. Follow the Terza Rima rhyme scheme
This was very important to me because the original translations of The Divine Comedy do not rhyme at all due to the language barriers translating from Italian to English. The Terza Rima rhyme scheme was invented by Dante Alighieri and is unique in that the middle line in the tercet will rhyme with the first and last line in the next tercet. The Divine Comedy is also known as hendecasyllabic and uses 11 syllables in each line. My rewriting of this also uses all of these rules in English.
Sometimes Terza Rima poems will end with 2 lines rhyming after one another or will end just with one line that rhymes with the last middle line in the last tercet. I prefer the ending to rhyme with 2 lines since ending singularly can often times end flat.
The rhyme scheme goes: aba bcb cdc… d(d)
You will also notice in my poems that I like to use near rhymes and phrase (near)rhymes with phonological manipulation to rhyme when I have to. This is why often times I am able to rhyme nearly any given word or phrase multiple times in almost any given context while still making sense.
2. Keep the broad vision of Dante, but extend upon his detail being exceedingly vivid
One of the problems with translating a piece from hundreds of years ago is that between the translation and dialect, words get lost along the way or have deeply different meanings. I’ve spent a lot of time just translating to get a broad sense of what Dante was going for between tercets. After I have a good feeling for what Dante meant I roll with it and apply creative reimagining to the piece with the intention of only amplifying Dante’s vision and molding it to more modern English.
This is not suppose to be a word for word translation like nearly all other translations out there. It’s a line by line deconstruction and elaboration of Dante’s vision.
3. Be as simple linguistically as possible, but keep the work as a treasure in literature
I wanted to make this piece of work quite simpler to read on the eyes and flow, but still have the vivid depictions and value as a book of literature. My goal is actually to make this rewriting of the poem closer to a senior high school level of reading rather than a college level. I want it to be something everyone can enjoy without stressing their brain. I take great influence from Edgar Allan Poe.
Translation by Inlecebra
A Terza Rima translation and rewriting of The Divine Comedy
The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri 1265-1321
Illustrations by Gustave Doré 1832-1883
Inferno: Canto I
The chapter of my mid-life is where it starts,
A dark forest woke me, tree’s tangling the light,
My path heavily disguised in gnarled tree parts.
Soul racing among forests gloomy confined,
Depths gritty, coarse, the essence lacking of grace,
Dread soars, tenacity tested to arrive.
Death reminds to set fear upon my cowed face,
Frenzied thoughts distorted sleep in my senses,
I affirm the entwined surroundings in place.
Unknown how I entered or what provinces,
Drowsy, but not quite sleeping stepping onwards,
The true way deserted now so ominous.
Woods wilt, Mountains surface, upwards spark strong words.
The bleak valley finally terminated,
It pierced my heart, made it fearfully wandered.
Up above the crown peak were boulders weighted,
Shimmering and bask in planetary rays,
People’s road and journey illuminated.
I feel my fright start to fade from my past craze.
My vacant heart scratched throughout the wicked nights,
Concerns lingered, body broken, cured by days.
Even the breathless ones that struggle with rights,
Crawl out from deepened depths to shore from grim seas,
Transforms tides treacherously glaring them white.
Own soul urgently fleeing my flesh in breeze,
It glared then settled in my bones hastily;
Luckily since no one has survived such freeze.
My weary torn body rested gracefully,
Resuming my quest across a desert hill,
The right foot guiding the way courageously.
I begin my ascent cautiously uphill.
A panther with great speed and agility
Spotted skin covered black and quite overkill.
Beast halted path, wary of hostility,
I tried to come back to the path frequently,
She protected the path indeed viciously.
Morning sunshine at bright dawn so dreamily,
Among the rising sun, stars shined light affixed.
The time told by the Love Divine ceaselessly.
Rays began to set motion fully unfixed,
Yearning forth accepting terms with the roiled beast,
The skin of the fiend multicolored unmixed.
An hour went by, growing hunger for a feast.
However, the panther still grisly compared
To the lion I saw appear near at least.
The lion jolted towards me jaws flared
Head elated high, courageous, and fearless
Wind surging through his mane, untamed, and prepared.
She-wolf came, her hungriness damned was cheerless,
Weighted down by her scrawniness and despair,
Many abandoned her deeming her peerless.
She rendered me overwhelmed with wear and tear,
Her plagued aura shocked my soul and bone marrow,
Doubt strong, of reaching the top without prayer.
Gaining wished goods today, may leave plight morrow,
For that time makes him lose sooner or later,
That makes man question all and drown in sorrow.
Such that made me, the beast without peace stay heard,
Slowly, precisely, she inched forth awe by paw,
Moved back to the inaudible sun safer.
I started running down the ridged devil’s claw,
Rushing towards flat, I find a man in stance,
He stood upright with a long void faint hush awe.
Sands drifted briskly, I seen him at first glance,
Immense desert draped “Have Mercy!” I pleaded,
“Are thou ghost or man?”, I questioned in advance.
He replied, “No, I once was uncompleted,
Both my parents origins were Lombardy
And Mantuans they resided proceeded
Julius’s mid-life born into poverty,
I grew up and lived in good Augustus’s Rome,
Gods conned, corruption among the scholarly,
Of great honor, I was a poet of tome,
Anchises’ Royal son that traveled from Troy,
Once llion burned dishonourably, scorched home.
Why back down into looped agony destroyed?
No desire to ascend the Succulent Mount;
Missing all the principles that give rejoice?”.
“So, you are Virgil? Happen to be the fount
which spews so much wide spreading river of speech?”,
I answered back to him, such shamefaced account.
“Glory shines awe and poets blissfully preach!,
Please maestro, aid me as my study prolongs,
Your passion and work deeply cheers me with reach.
You are my mentor and author without wrongs,
Your art alone moves me so passionately,
That exquisite flair, it honors my soul’s songs.
Look, that beast that made me back rationally,
Are you here to protect me from her wise one?,
She makes my heart and blood pump too rapidly.”
“I anticipate another road to run”,
He responded when he seen tears hit the ground,
“If you escape this ferocious place in shun,
Crying does not allow one to walk on bound,
She will not let any broken pass her way,
Don’t provoke her or she will bring death around,
With of nature maligned and ruthless till slay,
Her so gluttonous and ravenously groomed,
After being fed her thirst desires more pray.
Many beasts that try to breed her are consumed,
She will feast on more brutes, until the Greyhound,
Relinquishes equal pain until her doom.
He does not feast on sacred or wealth earthbound,
He feasts on virtue, affection, and wisdom,
‘Twixt Feltro and Feltro his nation and stray howls.
Low Italy, Nisus fought for the kingdom,
And Euryalus, Turnus, Camilla concur,
All perished in war by sword, his decision,
To roam every city, the wolf hunts for her,
Until he can drag her back to burning Hell,
Envy is what first cut her loose, flawless fur.
Judge this voyage for the best you can as well,
for you to join me, your guide out of abyss,
To leave out of this endless place and dispel.
Where you will hear hopeless weeping in the pits,
Ancient tormented ghosts in anguish cry out
Unison sung, the second death they admit,
Then you shall view those satisfied souls no doubt,
Within a fiery blaze since they hope to come
To join amongst blessed people up through the route.
Wished to ascend you’ll be among blessed with them,
A tender soul greater than I will guide you,
Later I’ll leave and you’ll be with her in some.
For that Emperor, who rules over life knew,
Who was disobedient to his law shrine,
No one comes to Wills city, Never been through.
He governs all round him to prevail cloud nine,
Of his city, he waits sat on his Grand throne,
The soul he chooses is joyed for that skyline!”.
After, I asked him: “Poet, please make me flown,
To go the distance to the God you’ve not seen,
And flee this vile sinful life and worse agone.
From what you’ve said, lead me witness in-between,
So I can see Saint Peter’s portal well viewed,
And those you make so dispirited and wean.”
Then he slowly started to step on imbued,
I become a shade of his body pursued,
This was a demo showing off the first canto of the Inferno that I have written. I don’t know how long this project will take me to complete. I don’t want to sound superordinate, but I truly believe I was chosen to do this and if I don’t do this I fear no one will do Dante justice in English form. I wouldn’t have taken a task of this magnitude at hand if I didn’t fully believe in what I was doing.
I don’t know how long it will take me to finish Inferno(and yes I do plan on Purgatorio & Paradiso). Inferno could take me anywhere from 6 months to 5 years. My goal is to finish 1 canto every 10 days, but even that can be absurd.
Despite the actual final writing taking much longer, I will say transcribing accurately word for word is probably the most draining part of this. This is why I’m deciding to do it at the start, to transcribe an entire canto line by line with a rough draft rather than trying to transcribe every tercet while writing the final.
© 2020 Inlecebra
inlecebra 